Rizzle » Annoyed

Problem Solved

rizzdizz — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 17:23:29 +0000

Friday Night

Problem: Husband is tired and wants to stay in.

Solution: Stay in and watch TV.

Saturday Morning

Problem: Free brunch at the apartment building. Husband doesn’t want to go.

Solution: Taking advantage of the warm morning and trying brunch at a new spot.

Saturday Evening

Problem: Thunder storm.

Solution: Watching it while eating frozen yogurt on the patio.

Sunday Morning

Problem: Stinky man on the cardio machine near me.

Solution: Run to the opposite end of the gym to finish my workout.

Guess who’ll be cleaning tonight?

rizzdizz — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 22:10:43 +0000

Dear Resident,

As part of our preventative maintenance initiative, a member of our maintenance staff will enter you apartment this Wednesday, March 2nd. They will inspect your AC filters, your plumbing system, your doors, locks, windows and fire extinguishers to make sure they are in working order. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact our office at 555.555.5555.

Sincerely,

Management

A mandatory pajama party

rizzdizz — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 19:03:21 +0000

At the ungodly hour of 4:15 AM our apartment building’s annoyingly loud fire alarm went off. The sound of this alarm makes me cringe, it pinches my ear drums and I can’t help but walk around with my fingers plugging my ears. Confused because I had just been woken up during a deep sleep, I waited in my bed, fingers inserted in my ear holes, waiting for it to stop. It never did. So we decided to evacuate. We joined several other neighbors on the lawn. Most showed up in pjs, others took the time to get dressed. After a few minutes, the alarm stopped and neighbors headed up the stair case back to their beds. After climbing up too many stairs, the alarm sounded AGAIN. I went out on the balcony to assess the situation. I couldn’t see or smell smoke. Nobody else went back to the lawn. However, the sound of sirens were coming from all directions. When Engine 11 pulled up our side of the building, we decided to get back to the lawn. On our way out, the neighbor down the hall applauded me for grabbing my purse. He cheered in his neon booty shorts (yes, he’s an interesting character), “smart idea saving your Louis”. I felt kinda dumb, but them realized I might need to buy something like a hotel room for the night if our building burns down. Then I didn’t feel so stupid after all.
Out on the lawn I found myself a seat on the cement. It was a chilly early morning. I heard of the radios there was smoke on the floor above us. The firemen undid their hose, hooked it up to the water, walked around, combed down their bed-head with their fingers, then unhooked the hose and told us we could go back in.
The 4 AM smoke creator can expect a flaming bag of poo from me at 4 in the morning…just as soon as I figure out who it was.

*Update: I just learned from apartment managment that last night’s alarm was real and due to a real emergency. Thankfully, there was no significant damage to anyone or any property.

Is today National Annoying People Day? I thought so.

rizzdizz — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 22:49:44 +0000

Just when I thought I couldn’t deal with another idiot, my office started to smell like rotten ahi tuna, ammonia and a dry erase marker. Disgusting. Then I had to hear an annoying Boston accent stabbing my ear drum like an ice pick. My email crashed. Then I decided it was time to go home.

When I got in my car I had to turn on the seat warmer because it was only 80 degress today. BRRRRRRRR. Next I turned my stereo way up because I liked the song on the radio “blame it on my A.D.D., baby”. The lyrics sort of described what was going on in my head. Except I don’t have A.D.D. At least I don’t think I do.

Sail by AWOLNATION.

Does Dead Technology Go To Heaven?

rizzdizz — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 21:24:25 +0000

I have to tell you about my dying laptop. It’s grey and very old. In its youth it was a real champ. Then about a year ago it started to disambiguate. First its performance became a little weary. Freezing up and having to restart became a daily event. Then the plastic pieces on the exterior came off like a child loosing its baby teeth. Except no “adult teeth” grew back. The clasp to open the laptop became loose and eventually no longer held closed. It would flap around like a walrus clapping its fins, “ARF, ARF”. The poor hinges are the worst and the reason a new laptop is on order. Opening and closing for the past few years has made a popping noise. The screen sort of lost its will to hold itself up. At that point I diagnosed it with a broken neck. Then a screw fell out and a metal piece in tow. The screen completely detached itself from the bottom part of the laptop. I’m really sad to see such a trust machine go, but alas it’s time. How many more days until my new laptop arrives? Have you ever encountered a faulty computer or laptop?

XOXO,

Rizzle

Honeymoon

rizzdizz — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:53:19 +0000

I change my mind about everything a million times. This makes planning a wedding impossible difficult. Choosing our honeymoon was supposed to be the fun part. I’m finding myself waking up at all hours of the night contemplating which destination to go to. Ugh! Why is this sooo harrrrddddd? Can someone choose (and pay) for me?

For some eye candy, here’s the destination we’re currently drooling over.

I hear the water there is 80 degrees year round!

XOXO

Rizzle

Minor setback…still losing hair

rizzdizz — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:30:44 +0000

Who’d have thought my reception dinner plan would be the most popular venue!? Just when I thought I was booking my wedding dinner way too far in advance, I was slapped in the face with a, “we’re sorry, we are booked for that evening”. So discouraging!

Get this though…I joined the community of brides on The Knot, a website dedicated to wedding planning and beyond. I posted my dilemma on a forum and BAM! I received so much feedback on other great reception dinner options in Vegas. I’m excited to check some of these out, but on the other hand I’m not holding my breath. Las Vegas is a popular place to get married. We may be going through the drive-thru at McDonald’s.

Too Noisy!

rizzdizz — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:29:00 +0000

Rizzle: can i just tell you that i also left my earphones at home and my blood is boiling from listening to crunch n’ munch over here eat a Costco size bag of shrimp thingys.
kat: hahaha
kat: eww
Rizzle: i’m seriously about to scream!!!!!!
kat: shrimp??
Rizzle: they are like pork rinds but shrimp
Rizzle: nasty
Rizzle: i just asked him what he’s crunching on and he didn’t answer
Rizzle: barb said “sounds like cereal”
Rizzle: and barb sits pretty far away from him
Rizzle: jane just laughed
Rizzle: and i’m totally serious about this whole thing
kat: damn
kat: haha
Rizzle: i’m going to wad up balls of my Kleenex and put them in my ears

Monday Blues

rizzdizz — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:19:00 +0000

Is it only me, or is it just one of those Monday’s? Here’s how my day began.
A: It was so flippin’ hot last night and because my fan was on, I kept waking up at various, awful hours of the early morning.
B: I feel like a stuffed sausage in my pants…should have worn a larger pair.
C: On the way to work, I passed an awful car accident which involved a motorcycle and a body bag. Ugh.

I took some time to Google “Monday Morning Blues”. The search results brought me to an article on eHow, How to Beat the Monday Morning Blues. I also noticed the breadcrumbs to this link include “General Mental Illness”. Maybe I should Google “find psychiatrist”.

eHow’s guide to beating the Monday Blues.

Step 1:
If you can, sleep in an extra hour on Monday mornings. Going to bed early on Sunday night doesn’t always help because most people will remain awake until their usual bedtime.
Actually, I did sleep in a bit. Step 1 did not help.
Step 2:
If you can’t sleep in by a full hour (and most of us can’t), take action Sunday night to shorten your morning preparation time so that you can set the alarm for 15 minutes later than usual. Wash your hair, pack lunches, lay out your outfit or pack your briefcase on Sunday night.
I found my problem! I washed my hair today rather than last night!
Step 3:
Hop out of bed the moment you wake up on Monday morning. Lingering in that downy comforter will only draw out the agony.
Ooops, I suppose lying in bed thinking about how cozy my down comforter is and thinking about calling in sick did not help the situation.
Step 4:
End your shower with a jolt of cold water to tear yourself out of your grogginess. Or exercise in the morning to get your blood pumping and to release those feel-good endorphins.
I HATE cold showers. There is no way in hell I am about to jolt myself with freezing water. If I were to have exercised then step 1 and 2 would have never happened. These instructions are so contradictory.
Step 5:
Get out in the sunlight. Bright light tells your body that it is indeed the morning and helps reset your internal clock.
Considering it was cloudy and 25 degrees cooler today, there was no sunlight to help energize my internal clock.
Step 6:
Drink coffee or another caffeine beverage. Although it’s not healthy to drink caffeine to the point of addiction, caffeine, when used in moderation, can give your Monday mornings that much-needed oomph and alertness.
Ooops, I may already be addicted.
Step 7:
Anticipate your Monday morning on Friday afternoon. Fight the temptation to race away from a messy desk. Clean up your desk and leave yourself a to-do list to make Monday morning a little more tolerable.
Why the heck would I want to think about Monday morning on a Friday?! This is a horrible suggestion.

Shopping always makes me feel better. I’m going to buy myself a new shirt from somewhere online. How many more hours until Tuesday?!

I’m So Perfect. Perfect, Perfect, Perfect…

rizzdizz — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:54:00 +0000

A fellow blogger wrote a post about how some people are known to come off as perfect in their blogs; this reminded me of those people who write Christmas letters like this:

Hello Friends and Family,

It’s been an exciting year for the Jones family. We have been so blessed with a new job, home and car! Our children have accomplished so much, we are so proud of them.

Junior made the honor roll both semesters. He’s the star quarterback for the varsity team. He is also restoring a new 1968 mustang. Boy, our Junior is sure a busy high school senior!

Our little angel, Susie is in 9th grade this year. Talk about being in the right place at the right time! Susie saved a man from a burning building. We were so proud of her fearless heart.

Bob received a promotion and we decided to build a new 4,000 square foot home. We also outfitted our garage with a brand new suburban.

As for me, I’m still staying home raising our two wonderful children. I spend countless hours volunteering at the animal shelter and the old people’s home. I really love sharing my time with those in need.

Merry Christmas and Love,
The Jones

What the Jones’ forgot to mention is that Junior is gay and was beat up by the varsity football team. Susie is pregnant and smokes crack and the man she saved is her drug dealer and baby daddy. And how Bob really got his promotion…that’s x-rated and not for my reader’s innocent ears, but you get the point. And how about that Mrs. Jones. We all know she pissed away the families life savings from gambling online.

It’s really annoying how people fabricate their lives for fear of being normal or something.

I hope my blog displays all of my quirks, inablities, short-comings, etc. Believe me, I have plenty of them.