Rizzle

Friday Night

Problem: Husband is tired and wants to stay in.

Solution: Stay in and watch TV.

Saturday Morning

Problem: Free brunch at the apartment building. Husband doesn’t want to go.

Solution: Taking advantage of the warm morning and trying brunch at a new spot.

Saturday Evening

Problem: Thunder storm.

Solution: Watching it while eating frozen yogurt on the patio.

Sunday Morning

Problem: Stinky man on the cardio machine near me.

Solution: Run to the opposite end of the gym to finish my workout.

At the ungodly hour of 4:15 AM our apartment building’s annoyingly loud fire alarm went off.  The sound of this alarm makes me cringe, it pinches my ear drums and I can’t help but walk around with my fingers plugging my ears.  Confused because I had just been woken up during a deep sleep, I waited in my bed, fingers inserted in my ear holes, waiting for it to stop.  It never did.  So we decided to evacuate.  We joined several other neighbors on the lawn.  Most showed up in pjs, others took the time to get dressed.  After a few minutes, the alarm stopped and neighbors headed up the stair case back to their beds.  After climbing up too many stairs, the alarm sounded AGAIN.  I went out on the balcony to assess the situation.  I couldn’t see or smell smoke.  Nobody else went back to the lawn.  However, the sound of sirens were coming from all directions.  When Engine 11 pulled up our side of the building, we decided to get back to the lawn.  On our way out, the neighbor down the hall applauded me for grabbing my purse.  He cheered in his neon booty shorts (yes, he’s an interesting character), “smart idea saving your Louis”.  I felt kinda dumb, but them realized I might need to buy something like a hotel room for the night if our building burns down.  Then I didn’t feel so stupid after all.
Out on the lawn I found myself a seat on the cement.  It was a chilly early morning.  I heard of the radios there was smoke on the floor above us.  The firemen undid their hose, hooked it up to the water, walked around, combed down their bed-head with their fingers, then unhooked the hose and told us we could go back in.
The 4 AM smoke creator can expect a flaming bag of poo from me at 4 in the morning…just as soon as I figure out who it was.

*Update:  I just learned from apartment managment that last night’s alarm was real and due to a real emergency.  Thankfully, there was no significant damage to anyone or any property.

Just when I thought I couldn’t deal with another idiot, my office started to smell like rotten ahi tuna, ammonia and a dry erase marker.  Disgusting.  Then I had to hear an annoying Boston accent stabbing my ear drum like an ice pick.  My email crashed.  Then I decided it was time to go home.

When I got in my car I had to turn on the seat warmer because it was only 80 degress today.  BRRRRRRRR.  Next I turned my stereo way up because I liked the song on the radio “blame it on my A.D.D., baby”.  The lyrics sort of described what was going on in my head.  Except I don’t have A.D.D.  At least I don’t think I do.

Sail by AWOLNATION.

Rizzle: can i just tell you that i also left my earphones at home and my blood is boiling from listening to crunch n’ munch over here eat a Costco size bag of shrimp thingys.
kat: hahaha
kat: eww
Rizzle: i’m seriously about to scream!!!!!!
kat: shrimp??
Rizzle: they are like pork rinds but shrimp
Rizzle: nasty
Rizzle: i just asked him what he’s crunching on and he didn’t answer
Rizzle: barb said “sounds like cereal”
Rizzle: and barb sits pretty far away from him
Rizzle: jane just laughed
Rizzle: and i’m totally serious about this whole thing
kat: damn
kat: haha
Rizzle: i’m going to wad up balls of my Kleenex and put them in my ears

Is it only me, or is it just one of those Monday’s? Here’s how my day began.
A: It was so flippin’ hot last night and because my fan was on, I kept waking up at various, awful hours of the early morning.
B: I feel like a stuffed sausage in my pants…should have worn a larger pair.
C: On the way to work, I passed an awful car accident which involved a motorcycle and a body bag. Ugh.

I took some time to Google “Monday Morning Blues”. The search results brought me to an article on eHow, How to Beat the Monday Morning Blues. I also noticed the breadcrumbs to this link include “General Mental Illness”. Maybe I should Google “find psychiatrist”.

eHow’s guide to beating the Monday Blues.

Step 1:
If you can, sleep in an extra hour on Monday mornings. Going to bed early on Sunday night doesn’t always help because most people will remain awake until their usual bedtime.
Actually, I did sleep in a bit. Step 1 did not help.
Step 2:
If you can’t sleep in by a full hour (and most of us can’t), take action Sunday night to shorten your morning preparation time so that you can set the alarm for 15 minutes later than usual. Wash your hair, pack lunches, lay out your outfit or pack your briefcase on Sunday night.
I found my problem! I washed my hair today rather than last night!
Step 3:
Hop out of bed the moment you wake up on Monday morning. Lingering in that downy comforter will only draw out the agony.
Ooops, I suppose lying in bed thinking about how cozy my down comforter is and thinking about calling in sick did not help the situation.
Step 4:
End your shower with a jolt of cold water to tear yourself out of your grogginess. Or exercise in the morning to get your blood pumping and to release those feel-good endorphins.
I HATE cold showers. There is no way in hell I am about to jolt myself with freezing water. If I were to have exercised then step 1 and 2 would have never happened. These instructions are so contradictory.
Step 5:
Get out in the sunlight. Bright light tells your body that it is indeed the morning and helps reset your internal clock.
Considering it was cloudy and 25 degrees cooler today, there was no sunlight to help energize my internal clock.
Step 6:
Drink coffee or another caffeine beverage. Although it’s not healthy to drink caffeine to the point of addiction, caffeine, when used in moderation, can give your Monday mornings that much-needed oomph and alertness.
Ooops, I may already be addicted.
Step 7:
Anticipate your Monday morning on Friday afternoon. Fight the temptation to race away from a messy desk. Clean up your desk and leave yourself a to-do list to make Monday morning a little more tolerable.
Why the heck would I want to think about Monday morning on a Friday?! This is a horrible suggestion.

Shopping always makes me feel better. I’m going to buy myself a new shirt from somewhere online. How many more hours until Tuesday?!