My sister and I watched my niece, Sophia on Saturday. Our first stop was for pedicures. Sophia did a great job sitting on my sister’s lap eating a granola bar. I tried to maintain my composure as I watched bits of granola fall down into the foot bath. Granola is good for the skin, right? Sophia’s turn for polish soon arrived. The nail lady carried Sophia to a chair where she painted her toes pink. This color was similar to the shade my face turned when Sophia sneezed on the nail lady, twice.
Parenting lesson #1: Feed children snacks before entering the public.
Parenting lesson #2: Leave children with sniffles and sneezes at home.
My stomach started to grumble because my half of the granola bar was now working its way down the nail salon drain. I had the brilliant idea of going to a new Mexican restaurant, El Amigo. My sister obliged, put Sophia in her car seat that was soaked from an entire bottle of water Sophia had spilled earlier that day. Water and Sophia don’t mix, I later learned.
We made it to El Amigo. Only they are now referring to us as Los Diablos. Our server brought us all our drinks, including a child size water with a lid and straw for Sophia. Two sips in and the drink was on the ground, upside down, leaking a good size puddle. After using all of the napkins at our table, the bus boy brought out a mop. The chips were so delicious, I couldn’t stop eating them and Sophia couldn’t stop lying them flat on the table and smashing them with her tiny fist.
Boredom set in and Sophia was ready to check out the rest of the restaurant. As she tried to wiggle by me, I gently grabbed her arm and asked her to go back to her set. Out of her mouth came shrieks, “OW, OW, OW, my arm! You’re hurting me!”. I could feel my face once again turning bright red, feeling the dirty looks from the other patrons. Auntie Brooke swooped up injured Sophia. I gave Sophia the dirty eye and called her a faker. In her loudest, angriest voice she yelled, “I’m nooot a faker”.
Parenting lesson #3: Don’t take children to restaurants especially if they have not had a nap.
Parenting lesson #4: Children will throw you under the bus at any moment.
Do you own any out of control children that like to embarrass you in public?
Rizzle
