Rizzle

Are you white and pasty looking? Do you want a tan without the harmful effects from the sun? Great news! I’ve discovered a great remedy for this! The first product is tinted self tanning lotion by St. Tropez. You can buy a bottle of it here. The product line recommends using it’s Body Polisher followed by their moisturizer. But I didn’t use either. As a matter of fact, I didn’t exfoliate or moisturize before using the product. Because I’m, well, lazy. I did make sure my legs were shaved though, because if you apply the self tanner and then shave, it’s kinda like you end up shaving it off.

So here are my steps to a safe tan:
1. Just before bed shave your legs.
2. Put on rubber or plastic disposable gloves. If you’re lazy like me, you’ll just have to scrub the tanner off your hands about 6 times when you are done. Unless you want a yellow tint between your fingers for the next 3 days, then go ahead and just rinse the tanner off your hands when you’re done.
3. Apply a generous amount of self tanning lotion to your body where you desire a summery glow. Rub in a circular motion until the product is completely rubbed in and dry. Spend extra time in areas around your feet, knees, elbows and hands. Unless you are like me and don’t care. Then just apply the best you can.
4. Make sure the tanner is completely blended in and dry. Then hop into bed and let the stuff soak in overnight.
5. The next morning, shower off the excess product. Dry off and enjoy your tan!

To maintain your faux tan, I’ve found that Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer works really well. Use this lotion in place of your regular moisturizer daily.

Now go and soak yourself in these recommended tans in a tube.

P.S. Let it also be known that my highly critical sisters, told me that my tan looks really good. Believe me, they do not let me walk out of the house looking like a clown, or even if they do, they’ll let me know.

Until next time!
Rizzle

This weekend started off with hundred degree weather. Blah! Thank you Willis Carrier for inventing A/C.

Saturday I was off to a baby shower when it began to shower. I was so confused and couldn’t find my rain coat or goulashes. It’s June for Peet’s sake! We don’t get rain in these parts in June! So I tried to wait for the rain to cease so I could jump in my car without ruining my hair. Since I’ve been cleaning the file room at work, I no longer take the time to get ready in the morning. When I did my hair for my friend’s baby shower, this was a big deal, and I couldn’t have the rain messing up my effort.

The rain did help to cool things off, but with the rain came thunder and lightning and with that came a few fires.

One of the fires is burning a few miles from my parent’s house. That night, we could see the orange flames glowing. Myself along with the rest of the town I live in, went to gaze at the display of hillside combustion.

Families packed up their minivans with their young and headed to the free entertainment. We pulled up on a hilltop only to be surrounded by dozens of others. It was quiet as every one watched the flames gorge on grass and trees. It was as if we were all at the drive-in watching a popular summer blockbuster. Except this was the real thing. There were no pyrotechnicians who could turn the fire off when the director yelled “cut”.

It was pitch black outside, all that could be seen was a line of fire burning. Some areas of the fire were just slowly swallowing the hillside, while other parts were thick hues of every orange, red and yellow colors found in a crayola crayon box. The flames swelled as trees came into the fire’s path.

We drove a little closer to the fire and could hear the dry brush become a victim, crackling and withering to a black, crusty carcase.

As we drove away to make room for other ambulance chasing, spectators, we began to ponder and think about those who had to evacuate their homes. What would you take with you if you had to leave your house because a fire could possibly consume it? I concluded I would pack a bag with some clothes and toiletries. If I had time, I’d grab my box of pictures. Then I’d be ready to collect the insurance check so I could pick out all new furniture! Disaster can often bring new life, if you are a forest, or a new couch if the fire gets the best of your house.

I’ve just returned from a trip to Las Vegas. You know the saying, “you learn something new everyday”? Well here’s something I learned…

Formula for free dinner in Las Vegas –

Jump in the hot tub with your girl friends at your hotel. Wait for a few middle-aged, pushing 60 years, men to get in. Wait for them to attempt to charm you. Then say in your head, “do these old men with hair growing out of the top of their shoulders really think he can get a group of girls in their 20s”? While you are pondering this question, the answer will unfold when they tell you all where they are going for dinner and what time we should join them.

Go back to your hotel room to change (don’t worry about shaving your arm pits or brushing your teeth). Meet the old men for dinner. Be sure to sit with your friends so you can form a gang of ninja warriors in case one of them tries to pull a fast one. Then proceed to order whatever the heck you want. Preferably the Kobe Fillet Mignon. The one that is $250. Yes, two hundred fifty dollars.

After they have spent their retirement on dinner, thank them and run very fast back to your hotel room. The running will also help to burn the 1,200 calories you have just consumed.

The next day, stop by the restaurant with your friends and look at the menu posted outside. Add up everything that was ordered. Gasp at the total! Then laugh and call the old men idiots for thinking they had a chance.

If you didn’t all ready know this about me, I have four sisters. People comment about how much fun it must be to have all sisters. People also ask if we shared clothes. People also instantly feel sorry for my dad since he’s lived with 6 women for so long. Truth is it was and still is so much fun having all sisters. Some of us would share clothes, but not me. I have anal retentive issues and like my clothes to not have stains or tears in them. My clothes were off limits. And my dad, I know he LOVES having all girls. I’m pretty sure he really enjoyed when we’d brush his hair and put bows and barrettes in it.

I cannot tell you how many Barbie’s we had. Our living room would be transformed into a one story Barbie mansion. I remember telling my younger sister when I was in junior high (oh God, this is so embarrassing), to not let me play Barbie’s with her anymore. I loved Barbie’s that much…

To this day I cannot go into a store in my little town without someone mistaking me for one of my sisters or asking me “are you so and so’s sister?” I’m never ashamed to admit I’m their sister. I adore that we are so much alike, yet so different. It’s what makes us who we are and contributes to the synergy we feel when we are all together. We have a crazy bond that I don’t think many would understand. You’d have to see us in action, gathered around a table to understand our sisterly connection.

Yesterday, I officially became an employee of the company that acquired my old company. Now I am one of a few left. I’ll be cleaning up a few pending items and then I’ll start my new job sometime in July. I thought I’d be sad when I walked into the empty office yesterday morning, but I actually love it! It’s quiet, really quiet. Just the way I like it!

I no longer need my headphones to block out noises noted in this blog posting. Ironically I smashed the right earphone in my car door last week, so they don’t work anymore anyway.

Yesterday some looters came into my area. They were looking to take off with one of my old co-workers flat screen monitors. I marched by them and glared. I noticed they didn’t take anything after all. It really felt like someone was robbing a grave or something. I took it really personal and wrote on all the whiteboards in the cubes surrounding me “HR is still working here. DO NOT TAKE ANY EQUIPMENT OR SUPPLIES FROM THIS AREA, you greedy son’s of BEEEEEEPPPPSSSS!” I left out the greedy part for the sake of keeping my job. I guess I could write it. I’m not sure who would fire me anyway. My manager is way over on the east coast.

I’m urgently noting dance moves from YouTube so I have to go now.

Until next time, peace!
Rizzle