Archive | April, 2008

Guess Who’s Been Contributing to the Box Office? ME!!

30 Apr

Wow! I’ve been a bit of a movie junkie lately, but I haven’t been a sucker for the $19 bucket of popcorn. Here’s what I’ve seen. Here’s what I thought.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

The first scene of this movie opens up with a nice shot of the main character’s frank and beans. If that’s too much for you, sit this movie out. If you like what you hear, check this flick out. The movie is about a guy who gets dumped, so he takes a vacation. To his dismay, his ex and her new man were vacationing at the same spot. The movie is written and directed by those who brought us “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up”. As expected, the movie was light and hilarious.

21

This movie was awesome in my book. It had the type of suspense that made me wish I had a remote so I could fast forward to find out what was going to happen. The movie is based off a true story about a group of MIT students who learn to count cards. Then they go to Vegas and clean up. The story is exciting and has an excellent ending. Go see this movie. Now.

Baby Mama

K-Dub is off the hook. I saw this movie last night with my sisters. He’ll be so relieved when I tell him he no longer has to see this movie with me. Having said this, the male species may be bored at this chick flick. Action words that come to mind for this one are: cute, funny, good. So gather up your girlfriends or sisters and head to the matinee.
——————-
That’s all the “Siskel & Ebert’ing” for now.

-Rizzle

Lunch

28 Apr

Just when I began to loathe Monday AGAIN, I remembered I’m having lunch with three of my all-time favorite co-workers. Two of them have moved on to other companies so it’s always a treat to get together to reminisce and hear about what’s new in their lives. I have very fond memories of when we all worked together. We’d roll our desk chairs to this hallway that was near our four cubicles and we’d talk about American Idol or whatever other reality show was in style at the moment. I used to love discussing celebrity gossip or hearing about one of their in-laws. The stories were always great and filled with more hilarity that SNL. I could go on about the fun times we all shared. We had a very unique relationship and I’m very grateful to have worked with all of them. I wish everyone the same experience because darn it, work should be fun and filled with laughter and awesome, amazing people.

Scum of the Earth

27 Apr

Feeling like a lobster boiling in a pot of water, I abruptly awoke from a deep sleep, because I was, well, boiling. It’s been another weekend like this one. Relief woke me even further when I saw the fan still sitting in the corner patiently, waiting to serve another hot evening. I set the switch to high and watched it oscillate like Miss America’s hand waving in a parade. Then my heart began to pound. I had forgotten to call my best friend since 1st grade to wish her a happy birthday! Technically I still had 45 minutes of her birthday left because it was 11:15 PM. I have this thing about calling people past a decent hour though. So I choose to give her a ring the next day.

Guilt kept me up for a few more minutes. What if she didn’t get the birthday card I sent her earlier this week? Then she’ll really think I completely gave up on her. I also remembered I didn’t call my other best friend on her birthday, nor did I send her a card. I did happen to catch her on Instant Messenger (IM) just before her birthday had ended. Err, um, more like she caught me on IM. Nonetheless, I was able to virtually wish her a happy birthday and get the scoop on the birthday events that took place earlier in the day.

I’m feeling like scum of the Earth. You don’t want to be my friend because I’ll forget to call you on your birthday. Sign onto IM though, maybe I’ll see your name and remember it’s your special day.

"Pets for $600"

25 Apr

Q: In the U.S., what are the two most popular cat names?

Too Noisy!

22 Apr

Rizzle: can i just tell you that i also left my earphones at home and my blood is boiling from listening to crunch n’ munch over here eat a Costco size bag of shrimp thingys.
kat: hahaha
kat: eww
Rizzle: i’m seriously about to scream!!!!!!
kat: shrimp??
Rizzle: they are like pork rinds but shrimp
Rizzle: nasty
Rizzle: i just asked him what he’s crunching on and he didn’t answer
Rizzle: barb said “sounds like cereal”
Rizzle: and barb sits pretty far away from him
Rizzle: jane just laughed
Rizzle: and i’m totally serious about this whole thing
kat: damn
kat: haha
Rizzle: i’m going to wad up balls of my Kleenex and put them in my ears

Cups

22 Apr

Last night as I unloaded my dishwasher I was reminded of when the roommate [from hell] used to hoard all the cups in the house. He’d fill them with Coke because that’s the only beverage he’d ever drink besides beer or any sort of alcohol. The cups would them get lost in the vast abysses of his room where the contents of the cup would dry up and crystallize. Sometimes he’d eat Chips Ahoy cookies and have a cup of milk to wash it down. He must not have liked the Chips Ahoy and Coca Cola combination.

There would be days when I’d go looking for a cup, lo and behold not a single glass could be found. Then randomly, I’d open the dishwasher and all the glasses would be in there with the rotten milk, mold, sugar, and whatever other kind of science project he had going on. This became increasingly frustrating because we have a rather cheap, not-so hardworking dishwasher. So I would have to remove all of the cups from the dishwasher, soak them in hot, soapy water and then scrub out the nauseating cheese formations. Then they’d have to go back in the dishwasher for a final sanitation. Truth is, knowing what once grew in some of those cups or perhaps the fact that the roommate [from hell] used the cup, I’d usually opt for a paper cup anyway.

Get this! The roommate [from hell]‘s former, roommate, previous to me, ran into a close friend of mine. This former roommate mentioned to my friend a few of the awful habits of the roommate [from hell] and one of them happened to be about the cups! I would be really interested to know if this same epidemic is occuring at the roommate [from hell]‘s current place of residence.

Actually, I don’t care.

Dispirited

21 Apr

Two interviews today. The first interview is the final round at one company and I’ll be meeting with the CEO! Yipes!
The second interview is actually a “meet and greet” with a person from the company that’s buying my current company. There’s a very slim chance, according to my manager that they could hire some of our HR people.
Amidst all this interviewing, I could not bring myself to wear my suit jacket. The jacket is so confining like a straight jacket and it’s just so darn professional looking too. Speculation says the acquisition of my company will take place on Friday. Knots and nerves are tangling my stomach causing me to feel a lump in my throat knowing that today could potentially be my last Monday as an employee of this company. For any of you that have ever gone through an acquisition may sympathize with me. The uncertainty, the constant moving of deadlines, the spikes in unusual business activity and then the lull of having nothing to do. It’s all very strange. It’s been a rocky road of watching co-workers move on – forced because they have a family to support.
In reality, my jacket is hanging in my closet as a protest. I don’t really want to interview today. I don’t want a new job. I’m happy where I am. I love my keyboard and my monitor. Why does life have to be so unfair at times?

Martha Worthy

20 Apr

My sister attended a wedding last night and brought home the fanciest, most well thought out wedding favor ever. This favor kicks Jordan Almonds ass and cracks personalized CDs into a million pieces. My mom is going to leave a comment about my swearing. But I really had to use that word to fully demonstrate how serious I am about what I am about to show you.
How cute is this? The suitcase is complete with a guide book of Carmel, a map of local restaurants, 2 water bottles, a bottle of aspirin (probably in case the music at the reception was too loud…I’m sure this had nothing to do with the open bar), body wash, lotion, truffles, cookies, coffee, almonds more chocolates tissues with wedding bells on them, tea and a small bottle of air freshener (maybe they served beans as part of the main course?). The tag attached to the outside says “We’re glad you’re here to share in our day…here’s some goodies to help in your stay! – Sarah and Brian”.
During the course of writing this post, I have eaten the almonds, three truffles and have moisturized my hands and arms with the lotion. If I were a wedding crasher, I would have crashed this one for the favor alone.

A Fact About Me

18 Apr

I know I’m strange, but I cannot comfortably sit on a couch and watch T.V. without a blanket. This holds true for the summertime when it’s 95+ degrees outside.

Hiphuggers – And I’m Not Talking About My Jeans

17 Apr

It’s not uncommon to walk by anyone’s desk here at work at see them looking for a job on Hotjobs or Monster or Craigslist or Careerbuilder, just to name a few. One of my most favorite co-workers has been so kind to forward me job descriptions that she feels meet my skill set. Yesterday, she sent me one for a company interested in a Benefits Coordinator and a few weeks prior to that she sent me a job posting for an HR Generalist. Today, she IM’ed me: “if all else fails, there’s always this”. Then I clicked on the link that followed and found this:

Go-Go/Bikini Dancer – The HiPHUGGER

Ladies,

If you are looking for some part-time work, both day or night shifts, in a safe, friendly, fun environment, come check us out. We are a family run bar. One of the last “bikini bars” in the area. No nudity. No drugs. No prostituiton. Just a small bar with Dancers performing 7 days a week.

There is good money to be made. Day shifts are from 11am to 7pm. Night shifts from 7pm to 2am. No experience necessary.

To talk to one of our Managers, stop by…or call 408 736-6505. I will apologize if it is loud when you call, as the Managers often answer the phone while on the floor. Tell them you saw the ad on Craigslist, and they will be happy to answer your questions.

For a map, see www.hiphugger.com

If you are not sure, just drop by and talk to the Bartender. Tell her you are thinking of dancing and let us buy you a beverage.

Hope you join us.

I’m so relieved to know that if I am unable to find a job in this ultra competitive, high-tech, corporate America, I have a chance at the seemingly very friendly, Hiphugger. Phew! I was getting a little worried there.

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