Archive | March, 2008

Shoes

31 Mar
Have you ever been out shopping and seen a really awful pair of shoes? I have. Let’s take a gander at some not so cute shoes, shall we?* Wowzers! A furry sneaker!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

This shoe is for the seasoned woman living in Florida with a pink, plastic flamingo in her front yard. Two words – Euro Trash.
The person who designed this shoe was fired shortly after presenting the sketch to their boss. How it made it on the shelves? Nobody knows.

*The opinions expressed here are those of the author. Do not be offended as the author has been known to have rather radical shoe taste from time to time.

Let This Outfit Go With the Melting Snow

30 Mar

Before the snow melts and new flowers begin to bud, let me tell you about a fashion trend I spotted this winter at a ski resort in the Sierras.

Check out this woman! I think those red, Reebok, high-top shoes are from 1984 or was it 1994? Either way they are not cute!!

Let’s take an even closer look at this Barney the Dinosaur colored, track suit/mess.

Was it desperation to stay warm by tucking the pants into the socks or is this just an extension of the already present fashion mutilation?

If you own or know anyone who owns anything close to what has been displayed in this post today, please, please give them back to the 90s. That’s where they belong. Amen.

-Rizzle

Spring Break

28 Mar

When I first started my career, I used to have withdrawals for a week in March and then again June through August. After 15 years of having a spring break and a summer vacation, it was so hard to adjust to having a priority 52 weeks straight each year. Unless of course, I take off time for vacation. But that’s not predictable. And I have to accrue my vacation time. This whole working for a living situation is so overrated.

One year ago, I did take a spring break in Cabo, Mexico. Today, I’m wishing I’d made it a tradition. I could be laying on the beach, taking in some much needed vitamin D or perusing the large outdoor flea market, bargaining for some unique souvenirs to take home.

Here are some memorable experiences from my trip last year.

  • Once known as Playa de Doña Chepa, Lover’s Beach is a hidden cove with a dramatic view of where the Sea of Cortez meets the Pacific Ocean. Lover’s Beach can only be accessed by taking a water taxi. Once there, K-Dub and our friend braved the powerful waves and currents of the Pacific. These are actually quite dangerous to play in. I opted to hang out on the beach. I minimize risk at all times increasing my life expectancy considerably. Regardless, it was a beautiful experience taking in the marine life, fantastic rock formations and astonishing blue and green hues of the ocean.
  • Rather than avoiding the local eateries, we jumped right in. The burritos weren’t Chipotle status, but gave me respect for where the roots of the burrito began. Everything was homemade, the tortillas, beans, chips, salsa, even the cheese. You can’t beat fresh ingredients!
  • After years of watching Spring Break on MTV, those images of rowdy spring breakers became a reality. I’ll never forget the club workers in the sombreros who would walk through the crowds, blowing their whistles, selling jello shots. Or how about the contraption that was up against a wall. People were paying to be turned upside down, strapped in a harness and then had profane amount of alcohol poured down their throat. I’m glad I sat that one out.

Someday I’ll go back…maybe next spring break. Until then, back to making a living and accruing vacation time.

This is a picture of Lover’s Beach. BEA-U-TIFUL!

Healing the Wounded

26 Mar

Yesternight (my youngest sister coined this word at a very small age, it’s been a part of my vocabulary ever since) was my post-boot camp consultation. I was planning to share all about it in today’s post, but realized it really isn’t very exciting. I skipped the pre-camp consult so I have nothing to compare my results with. I only realized how much more work I have to meet my goals of toning up, running a better mile, etc. It was also brought to my attention (like I didn’t already know!) that I must eat more lean protein. So instead, I’m going to share how I’ve broken my right knee, my right ankle and my lower back. Well, okay, I didn’t break any part of my body, but they might as well be broken because they are really holding me back! I have finally established a consistent workout routine and I’m feeling like an 80 year-old woman. I hear ice works to relieve swelling, but ice is cold and I want to be able to continue to workout as normal. I’m also gearing up for a 5k in three weeks and that’s not going to happen if I feel like I do today. I suppose I could wheel the race in a wheelchair or perhaps borrow someone’s baby stroller and have someone push me. It just wouldn’t be the same though.

Have you ever been set back to the point of frustration? Does anyone have any suggestions for healing my broken bones?

Peace – Rizzle

Livin’ Large

25 Mar

Believe it or not, this three month, 17.5 pound, roll-ey, droopy chested, Buddha-looking baby, grew up to be a very tall, slender man. People who see him as an adult that haven’t seen him since he was a baby are shocked to see that he is no longer err, umm large. All of that baby fat eventually transformed into long, lean legs making him a successful basketball player. Successful, as in being able to rebound really well and block shorter players during his career in the YMCA basketball league for kids.
I’m convinced all of those rolls are the reason he’s an avid calculator. I’m sure his mom could not pass up counting all of them. Or perhaps it was hearing his pediatrician yell out in surprise his weight compared to his age and height, “17 and a half pounds at 21 inches…that puts him in the 150th percentile for his age of four months”.This must have stuck as now he calculates his finances, the speed of his car at a certain horsepower, the amount of baseboard needed to trim out his house, how much he’ll make off his tax return while maximizing his deductions…is anyone else getting dizzy as I name off these random events to be calculated?!
If you haven’t figured it out by now, this baby is Kat Daddy, the man that I am going to marry. I pray that if we ever produce offspring, they be much smaller than this out of the womb, nearly 10 pound kid.

Roommate Diaries

24 Mar

If you’ve read the Deodorant Bandit you know that recently a long tenured roommate of mine moved out. In talking with others, it turns out I’m not the only one whose encountered a roomie from hell. Given this commonalty with others, I’ve been inspired to write the Roommate Diaries. Consider this Chapter 1, titled Towels.

The smell of mold would often lurk on my clean towels. I’d bring a fresh towel to my face after a shower and launch it across the room as if I was a quarterback and my career was dependent upon this throw. Here’s why: my super thoughtful roommate [from hell] thought it was okay to take my clean, wet laundry out of the washer and set it on top of the dryer to mold. Here’s a nice tip for anyone out there who doesn’t already know this. If you take out wet clothes from the washing machine, promptly put them in the dryer and turn the dryer on. Be sure to set the dryer long enough so the clothes, towels or whatever dries completely. Other times, the roommate [from hell] would take out clothes that were drying in the dryer and put them on top of the dryer to mold. The roommate [from hell] would “iron” his outfit of the day in the dryer everyday! Tree huggers, brace yourselves for what I am about to divulge. Not only would he mold out my laundry and cause me to have to re-run the washer and then the dryer and use another scoop of laundry detergent and bleach to kill the mold, but he’d also run the dryer for a single pair of pants and shirt everyday for at least 45 minutes! Needless to say, the situation was Green in a mold sort of way, not Green in an energy conservation way. I’m relieved my towels are fresh the first time around and can’t wait to see how low the energy and water bill will be next month.

Happy Easter to All My Peeps

23 Mar

Chillin’ with my peeps Easter morning.

Good Friday!

21 Mar

Holidays usually mean schools are out. And if schools are out, then there aren’t any teachers, students, yard duties, lunch ladies or traffic guards on the road. This translates to a pleaseant and fast commute for me from home to work. Thank you, Jesus, for Good Friday!

I Last Wrote a Haiku in High School

20 Mar
Caution! If you are a poet or English literature major, please do not judge my erratic, poorly formatted piece below. It’s my first niece’s birthday today. What better way to say happy birthday than with a poem! I know…she’s only one and won’t be able to read or understand this for at least 5 more years, but maybe she’ll recognize herself in the picture below.

Baby Sophia had a rough start
She swallowed her poo
and ended up in the NICU

A tiny sweetheart,
wearing nothing but a diaper
Daddy was there to be a tear wiper
Instead of a bonnet, she wore medical tape
So many needles and tubes,
none of which she could escape
Weeks later she could breath on her own
No more hearing her whimper and groan

Today she’s one,
a rugrat at that
Happy Birthday, Sophia and many more to come!

Re: Deodorant Bandit

18 Mar

Sooooooo I never confronted the Deodorant Bandit. I thought about it, but never did. I actually never want to see the guy again. I always try to look at the positive in everything – well not everything, but most things. From now on when I meet a new friend or run into an old friend I’m going to share the story of the Deodorant Bandit. Then they’ll never forget about me. They’ll think about the pervert who molested my innocent, 1.6 ounce antiperspirant every time they swipe their underarm with their deodorant. To me this is more satisfying than confirming the truth. We all know who did it anyway.

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